Matagal pa ang burol at libing

It’s been 7 days since my brother died. I am still feeling like a zombie, I am here but not here. I feel so drained from crying, thinking of what happened, and why it happened. I feel lost in this sequence of events.
He was sick but I didn’t expect he would die this soon. The surgeon said 3 to 6 months of recovery after the operation. We were all prepared that he may not fully recover but at least he would be able to sit in a wheelchair, eat on his own, at least he would be alive. but not dying and not this soon.

Naawa ako sa kanya. He suffered. I saw him take his last breath.

Does his story end when he dies?

Where is his body now? He is in the hospital morgue’s refrigerator. The funeral home has no vacancy, and no availability till March. Ganun pala dito. Aabutin ng ilang buwan bago mailibing. Weird.

I cried again when my sister told me the interment would be sometime in March. Hindi pa nga alam kung kailan sa March. I am returning to Manila in two weeks and I can’t extend my stay that long. I have a long list of things to do in Manila and I miss my kyot kyot apopoo.

It pains me doubly thinking that I won’t be present at the burol and burial. So sad.


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