What if your parents ask if you’re still a virgin

An ohmybuhay reader is worried her parents , specially her mother, would anytime soon, ask her if she’s still a virgin.  She doesn’t know what to answer to them.

First of all,  dear parents,  sex education starts after you’ve potty trained your children.  Give them advise or teach them what you think is right BEFORE they start dating.    Please do not ask your children about their virginity when or after they’re dating na.  To begin with,  whatever they say,  you would not be happy with the answer.   If she says  YES  she’s still a virgin.  You would definitely not believe it.  If she says NO, she’s no longer a virgin.  Sasapukin mo naman.  Mahimatay ka pa sa arte mo.  So don’t ask na lang.  Just presume.

However,  we should advise our children to delay having sex as much as possible.   Until they’re at least 21 (sobrang conservative ba or modern?)  At least we rule out the possibility of a teenage parent.

Mabuti pa teach her na lang how NOT TO GET PREGNANT before marriage.  Or for boys- How not to get a girl pregnant before marriage.

I remember when my son still didn’t have a girlfriend,  I asked him over dinner  “Anak, do you know how not to get a girl pregnant?”

He smiled and looked so embarrassed.    With a lot of hesitation,  he answered “ahhh, use…a  condom?”

Mother—— “No,  not to do it.”

My son and my daughter laughed.

I never asked my daughter and my son if they are still virgins.  That’s a ridiculous thing to do.

I do not want to embarrass them.  Even if I am their mother,  I have to give them some privacy.  Even if we are close and I am sure they would not mind giving me an answer,  I am not curious at all to know.   I do remind them however to make sure not to get a girl pregnant before marriage (to my son) and not to get pregnant unless she’s ready (to my daughter).  I don’t remember ever telling her not to have sex.   Instead,  I always remind them to take care of themselves and to be careful,  baka mapasubo sila.   Baka rin they might do it with the wrong person.  But  that’s their judgment call.

When I was in college,  when my mother found out I have a boyfriend,  hinimatay nga sya.   Tapos when she found out I have a new boyfriend (Edmund),  hinimatay na naman.    That was 36 years ago.  Medyo makaluma pa nuon,  ngayon eh modern na.

So what do you do if your  parents ask you if you’re still a virgin?

First defense,  sit as far away as possible from them.  Siguro mga two meters away.

Keep quiet.  Do not say anything.

Pagnagsisigaw ang mommy mo “answer me, answer me!”.

Look stoic.   Pretend to be BINGI.

Be ready na sampalin ka,  umilag ka ha?

The two meters distance would provide you with enough time to run to your room.    Run fast.


Boys and Girls— if you’re still in college, take care of yourselves,  Do not do something you would regret later on.  There’s more to life than just sex.


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One thought on “What if your parents ask if you’re still a virgin

  1. I totally love it, the advice and the humor! I’m bookmark-ing this for (near) future reference. I needed a mom’s perspective on this issue cause whenever I ask my friends, they have no idea what to actually do. I’m finished with college already and of legal age pero since I’m an only child, my mom is on my back more than usual and I’ve already accepted na she’ll be that way even when I’m way older . I’m not complaining pero she does tend to step out of line minsan (to the point of going through my bags and trash) so I’m certain I’m going to get asked this question once I return home. Thanks Ms. Annie! <3 <3

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