Even before the pandemic struck, I’ve been noticing photos of lighted candles posted on Facebook pages announcing the passing of their loved ones. What follows next is naturally a barrage of Condolences and RIPs from their FB friends.
I feel awkward sending my condolences if I don’t know who died. It only becomes a perfunctory response just for the heck of showing my sympathy. “Uy may patay condolence po.” I feel it’s not right. I want to know who died. Why, Age? I am not comfortable na gaya-gaya lang— Condolence, condolence, condolence. But does it really mean anything?
I am maawain. I feel for others. My husband hates this trait of me. But this is me and at my age right now, impossible to renovate my whole being. So when I see a candle posted on FB, my reaction is always “Oh my God, sino ito? Bakit kaya sya namatay? Ilan taon na kaya sya?” And why do I care about the answers?
Who died? —- Of course, I want to know who died before me sending my sympathies. Makiki condolence pero hindi ko naman kilala or alam kung sino ang namatay.
The cause of death is important because I want to know if it is from Covid? or cancer? So that we can all be forewarned. Age? Because I want to feel good if he/she died from old age.
I had a bad experience some three years ago. I saw a candle posted on FB. Ang daming condolences in the comments. I messaged who died? No one cared to answer. Basta puro condolences lang. The next day, the candle appeared again and I saw a photo of a beautiful girl aged around 30s with long luscious hair wearing a red printed skirt, seated with a fluffy dog that looks like Shitzu. Bingo! I concluded that’s the girl who passed away. Nakigaya na rin ako sa condolences. I commented “Condolences, ang bata pa nya.”
OMG! Hindi pala sya ang namatay kundi yung dog nya. Eh bakit naman kasi ayaw sabihin, I mourn the loss of my beloved dog!
I am paranoid every time a high school batchmate of mine dies. My reaction is always, oh my God, bakit sya namatay, nagkasakit ba sya? Syempre that’s just a natural reaction.
In 2020 Covid killed around a dozen people personally known to us. So every time there’s a candle posted on Facebook, ninenerbyos na ako. Nakupooo, meron na namang namatay!
I don’t know if it’s the new thing now— announce someone you love has died but you keep the identity a secret. Privacy? In my opinion, if you prefer people not to know who died and why he/she died, then siguro don’t announce it na lang. For me to sincerely express my sympathy, I need to know who died. Baka na naman tuta lang pala.
They say we should pray for people who passed away. We should pray for their souls and for the people they leave behind. Last week, there were three candle announcements with no mention of who died. I did not comment, my prayers are pending till I have found out who died.
Last year, someone posted a candle with the caption “Goodbye husband” and it was followed by a string of comments such as “condolences”, “kaya mo yan”, “be strong”. When I saw the post, naawa naman ako. I messaged “What happened to him? Covid?” I didn’t get any reply. Bakit kaya sya namatay eh ang alam ko 50+ lang sila, siguro covid. Naki condolence na rin ako at hinabaan ko pa ang message ko. “May God keeps him in his loving embrace. May he rest in peace.”
Someone messaged me “Annie, buhay pa ang asawa nya, winish lang nya mamatay na kasi iniwan sya.”